&ITS INEVITABLE
This feeling sucks to the core,i just want to get over it so badly.
ITS SERIOUSLY NOT MY FAULT!IF FEELINGS CAN BE CONTROLLED,I WONT BE FEELING LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW.Am i expecting too much?I know you've make up your mind,and now the whole damn problem lies on me.PLEASE DON'T TREAT ME LIKE THAT? I find myself pathetic,finding/recalling really simple moments that we had and get myself happy for the whole day.THIS AIN'T HELPING,AT LEAST NOT AT THE MOMENT.
ARGHHH,YOU'RE THE WEIRDEST PERSON ON EARTH MAN!
maybe i've tried hard,or maybe hard just isn't hard enough FML.

&YES,FEELINGS ARE MEANT TO BE RIDICULOUS
I'm just some stubborn girl, and i know now your definition of girls is like irritating,annoying,attention seeking and so on.I get the feeling that you hope that girls or rather me not exist in your life because i admit i kinda messed up your life:/
After the talk with you(i'm not sure whether i infer wrongly) I felt that you're rather scare of being more than just friends because to you it may mean commitment and given your character,you're just not ready for that.But i'm serious, things just might not be as bad as you think!
I guess i need a break for now,and how's things are going to turn out like depends mostly on you.
I'm glad i had the talk with you though and somehow things just aren't that awkward as i thought it would be like.I felt so much better after sharing things with you,my concerns,my perspectives,although i'm not sure whether i managed to sway your stand a little.

Being in the middle means to know how's the situation is like yet respecting each other's space.Showing concerns and attention but not to the extent of wanting to be in control.
All i need is a little concern from you once in a while,at least to show that you care.
I know,im being sensitive most of the time,but i just feel inferior compared to those girls and i believe you feel the same way too when you were mentioning about him and if you need me to reassure you,i believe i will,and i don't think its really that difficult to just show some concern.

and yes,i'll try my best not to be bothered and mug my ass off already!its so near to midyears, and even nearer to my birthday!But still,i need to thank quite a number of people who are always there for me,hearing me cry,letting me share my not-so-interesting story and nagging me non-stop to ask me to regain the pride that i lost.my birthday hmm:/

&SPEAK LOW IF YOU SPEAK LOVE

I can feel that things are getting slightly better,or is it that i no longer have any expectations?like how my lovely babes would always nag at me about it.

"PRIDE!!!", that's what chinyee would say.

Maybe i have been the proactive one,maybe im just being stubborn.

oh well,i know it takes time,but dont give up on us,at least not yet.

&yes,i shouldnt be bothered so much,but somehow i still do care.

&HE TAKES ME HIGH
i have no idea what's going through your head,
am i expecting too much,or that you're just not expressive enough?
sometimes i just hope you would show more concern.Is it that hard?
you could have asked how was my day like,or maybe you just didnt even bother.
WHAT YOU WANTTTTTTTTTTTTT?tskzxzxz